"I had no idea". February 18, 2023 There are people who interpret life as if it were all about a fight of egos. I think the phrase Im proud of you is insulting, for the reasons noted above. "I guess we can't all get Ph.D.'s in science like I did.". The phrase "Im proud of you" insinuates that the speaker (parent, teacher, co-worker, boss) has more experience, or power, or in some manner has the right to pronounce their opinion, on someone elses effort. He loves to share his unique perspectives and ways to make everyday conversations a bit 'lively'. I realized that I needed to open myself up to friends and partners as well. After reading these posts, I think the following: a person will feel pride in anothers accomplishment when they feel deeply connected with the other. Hosted by Pressable. But is that really very useful? The child has done well enough for the parent to bring out the big guns the proud word. Second, he must know you well. Benjamin Franklin Positive, Forgiveness, Respect 985 Copy quote I dont think there is a neutral position. 8. I'm so proud of you" I say things like "I love seeing you so happy with your work" and "I love seeing your words in print". Especially when you get to hear this from your parents, it means theyre happy to see, 43 Motivational Messages For Hard Working Boyfriend, funny excuses to ask for money from your parents, How to tell your parents that you have a girlfriend, 9 Best Answers To How Was Your Interview?, 16 Clever Comebacks When Someone Tells You To Grow Up, 18 Best Responses To Backhanded Compliments On Social Media. I have deep concerns if children crave to hear "I'm proud of you" because they want to know that their parents approve of them - of their behaviour, of their decisions in life. She states I always tell someone I am proud of them. 1 y. That is why a long-term mentor can also feel pride. Truly grateful to have such a loving family. What does it mean when someone tells you that they are proud of you? This topic came to mind because I recently saw a friend / mentor and told him about a meaningful professional accomplishment. To try to sum this up, I mrried and ended up in a small, isolated village filled with people who either did not graduate high school or barely achieved that level of schooling. I was excited to see your reaction. (Of course, there are always people who try to suck up to youbut hopefully you can see through it!) Second, this very fact helps explain why we resent it if the praise comes from someone who isnt viewed as a mentor. They may become adults who are vulnerable, who do not have a strong sense of self-worth. In most situation expresses negative connotations, such as "He is very ", which means he is over proud of himself (). Instead of these phrases, focus on how proud you are of the person. 11. Who is saying this to whom? but you do play a role in their success! You are taking joy in someone else doing good. It means that in their eyes you have come a long way from a place you began. Might you quietly ask yourself Who was it that put in the hard hours to get a good report? The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all others, charity. Similarly, if someone tries to imply a mentor relationship by telling you, Im proud of you, its like a bad parent trying to claim the rights and status of a good one. Happy I did it, finally! 3. So, lets get started! Dont just thank them, you can reply with some cute responses to let them know that youre proud the same as they are. Listen to your inner wisdom, and make a note of the meaning that resonates with you. Gun owners are more likely than non-gun owners to know someone who has been shot (51% vs. 40% of non-owners). 2. Just let them be. Kids also like to know that they invoke parental prideas long as it genuine! 9 Focus on Them When Praising Them PeopleImages / Getty Images So as you can likely see, when people say they're "proud" of someone else's accomplishments, they're really saying they are entitled to some honor or credit in the accomplishing of those accomplishments; and when people say they are "humbled" by other people recognizing them for their accomplishments, what they really mean is they . Congratulations to our dearest son. If you get a new job, get a participants medal for a 10K or do anything deemed worthwhile, friends, family and acquaintances will say they are so proud of you!!!. When someone says they are busy, it could mean that they are busy. By the fifth repeat of the painting, the response from him mother may quite different from the first. 4 Phrases a Man Says When He's Emotionally Attracted to You The Problem with 'I'm So Proud of You' (And What to Say Instead) - HuffPost Sometimes people use it to appropriate the achievements of others, which is a sad and awful thing. It got me thinking, "How many people could send me that sort of email?" Thank you for starting this. As in, he's purely attracted to your appearance. If He Says These 10 Things, He's Just Stringing You Along Until He Be proud of you." - Oprah Winfrey 3. Overall, its reserved for people who you trust and respect. Three reasons to avoid saying "I'm proud of you". - Parent Skills Updated 7th September 2016; and 19th April 2019. So - does this research negate my concerns regarding the phrase "I'm proud of you"? An acquaintance commented on a recent Facebook post I made that he was proud of me and immediately I felt so mad about that but couldnt figure out why. I thought to myself, who is she to be proud of me? No, I am more proud of you, too. If you care deeply for someone, it is entirely possible to share the sense of pride that they feel in THEIR achievement without your hijacking it in any way. Can't you do something different?" And guess what? 2. Positive reinforcement is a powerful tool that can help to encourage and motivate people. Thats the response I was expecting from you. When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre reinforcing the positive behavior that you want to see in yourself and others. "I know how you feel". "Scorned ex-girlfriends are the worst. A person receiving this praise could also feel belittled it could feel as though their achievement was unexpected - a surprise to the other person. Move away from the source of your negative thoughts. . I dislike the phrase entirely, regardless of how we are involved in the individuals life: parent, teacher, mentor, etc. The Proud Boys ' anger toward Mr. Trump has heightened after he did nothing to help those in the group who face legal action for the Capitol violence. You're not necessarily the expert. Quote by John F. Kennedy: "If by a "Liberal" they mean someone who It makes a difference I think. Great to hear this. It is a feeling of relief and it was all worth while you bringing them up properly. So thank you, mom and dad! To be sure, "I'm really proud of you buddy" can sometimes occur between friends. I wasnt happy with this performance. It's a way of congratulating someone for having accomplished something impressive. But, its important to remember that responding to Im proud of you with gratitude can help to boost your confidence and will help you to overcome your self-doubt. Its really a way of saying I am really the one who is special, Im the boss.and what it deserves is not thank you but rather, well kiss my ass you condescending bastard..get a lifethis proud of you nonsense is also related to people who have to say WELL GOOD FOR YOU when doing something mundane..like, someone catches me reading a book in publicoh, you are readingWELL, GOOD FOR YOU!! 2. 1. You would have to know the whole story. I think you deserve the credit for this all. 8. I do find it odd to say "I'm proud of you for doing the dishes". Its probably contempt and anger. response to "I am proud of you" - WordReference Forums I had a lot of this type of treatment in that small community. Thats why its important to take their words seriously and to respond in a meaningful way. Aw yeah, yeah, yeah. 9. God knew just what we needed when He gave us you. John decides to replicate his painting (for the reward of praise, not for his own sense of improvement and competence), and looks up at his mother with rapturous expectation. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); All Rights Reserved. Luke 18:9-14 ESV / 5 helpful votes Helpful Not Helpful But what does proud mean? Glad that I keep our family tradition alive. Which brings me to my next point. I was talking about this statement Im Proud of you to a friend.I was annoyed about someone saying they were proud of me who barley knows me. B Blue Apple Senior Member So we arranged to have her drive to the hotel where I was staying and we drove there together. I use the other terms like Im so happy for you. Is it wrong to be proud of your accomplishments? When your partner is mad at you, your flirty responses to I hate you will certainly make them laugh. Thats something for a parent to say or a parental figurebut only occasionally. Proud Boys Intended To Kill Mike Pence and Nancy Pelosi, FBI Witness Says First, he is probably higher status / higher power. Like I wasnt doing enough before? Thats what I think. Is it a parent speaking to a child, for instance, or a friend to a friend? They note your hard work and dedication and remember the person you were before and admire the person you have become. 14. I have a one year old boy and a two month old boy, and I had my first day back at work yesterday. Anyone who overthinks any form of compliments or think's that there are hidden agendas or people are not being completely honest about what they say, should take a step back and ask themselves why they are thinking those thoughts, personally i believe it's more about them and not what is being said about the phrase. I'm so proud of your painting!" 10. When I Say I'm Proud of You - ttmm.io One might consider that the mature thing to do, or the business savvy thing to do, but she has had nothing to do with them for years, because they are arrogant and condescending. For doing what Im supposed to do? Its just a colloquialism for way to go or awesome sauce or good for you! No one means to be condescending or imply they got you there in some way. It may be a taunt from them to do something unusual. How does it feel when someone says they're proud of you? - Rumie Is the childs achievement actually a reflection of their parents achievement? However what messages might our children actually hear? You shouldnt be. 14. Who determines the meaning of words? Achieving your goals will help you stay motivated, inspire you to set and achieve more, and increase confidence. Children who are continually praised, or told "Im proud of you" may not believe their parent. But I want to let you know that I accept you whether I agree with you or not, and I'm committed to working on our relationship so we both feel . 4. Well, that means theyre impressed, happy, and overjoyed with what you did, achieved, or say something. However Simon Cowell for instance often says he is proud of a contestant he has never met before. And Im so ashamed of you. I am in awe of your talent and accomplishments. Youre like my sister from another mother. relationship advice marriage advice Women love advice. Who put in the practice in order to win that tennis match? Most times, people use "I am busy" as a tool for avoidance. Looking for some extra money from your parents? When someone insults you, the first thing you want to do is take a pause and a deep breath. They are much more aware and can see through false motivation easily. These two simple words"I care"can mean so much to a person who may be feeling like the entire world is against them. It says, I love you so much that YOUR accomplishment can make ME feel pride. Reading the Parent Effectiveness Training book, or attending a PET course, will help develop positive and respectful parent-child relationships, and explore alternatives to praise. 49 Best Responses To "I Am Proud Of You" (From Family And Friends) The words hit me like a . Proud people: these are the 7 traits that they share You must log in or register to reply here. the person who says that is actually talking about themselves, not about me, and by saying that is drawing the recognition away from me towards themselves. 5. Because we ran into a bunch of other classmates that were also there, we didnt spend time exclusively with each other but we did sit together at the game. Its more potent because they have seen struggles in their life, and within that perspective, they still acknowledge the effort I have put into the achievement as deserving of recognition. Believe me when I tell you that it is not meant so kindly elsewhere. First, there's physical attraction. When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre showing that you value the words of the person expressing their admiration and respect for you. Suddenly I found myself questioning my rather lame Im thrilled for you. He gets a "that's nice". Its all because of blessings and good wishes, I could do it. My former partner just recently told me that he was proud of me after major accomplishment. If you want to reply saying you're proud of the person saying he's proud of you, the only correct answer out of those four is "I'm proud of you too". PJ, I will give my thoughts on your post at the end of my post. He remembers things that you tell him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies. From that day on, I felt like I couldnt really trust him, and now I know why. Why is this such a contentious phrase? Simply thanking them or hugging them is an immediate reaction to it. Do you think if they didn't mean it they would say it? Saying, Im proud of you, is a great word and its an expression from the heart. "Well," you respond with enthusiasm, "I'm so excited right now. . The key words (for this discussion) are creditable to oneself. They just say it. And black adults (57%) are more likely than whites (43%) or Hispanics (42%) to know someone who falls into . Thats why we feel pride in our childrens accomplishments. When you say, "I'm proud of you," you may actually be simply rejoicing in another. They know I mean: I am so impressed by what you did, and proud to be able to call myself your mother. If I said this to a friend it would mean the same thing. A good friend of mine, who has had a tough life, has just written and published her first book. Well done!. Im proud of you could be seen as an external judgement a parents verdict on a childs performance. On the other hand, my brother has said it to me, and although he did not play a role in my achievement, it still meant something positive to me and it felt good. I drove home and when I got home I texted her that I had arrived home safely. Those of us who were brought up around this attitude are understandably wary of the phrase, and likely to avoid it. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. You look so much better!". So thank you Ben, for after read the above I feel happy with my Im thrilled for you, You must feel really proud and the like. Ive been totally using that word all wrong sheesh, all the complaints about the misuse of the word makes me feel bad about what and how I been addressing my peers and friends. 4. I still think she was doing this at the time. I am proud of them for being like this with one another. Let me tell you why. I know Im a couple of years behind, but was thinking about it this morning. In these instances, simply saying "Wow" (and meaning it) will let them know you're proud. Totally the sort of thing that deserves a fist to the nose. Try The Behaviour Window. This mindset will help you achieve your goals, too. My experiences with people saying they were proud of me (or at least making me aware in other ways that they were proud of me) first came from my own parents, mostly my dad. Never say these 5 phrases to your kids, says psychologisthere - CNBC A significant share of Americans (44%) say they personally know someone who has been shot, either accidentally or intentionally. The Proud Boys . When someone says Im proud of you, its important to take the time to think about how you want to respond. Knowing someone is proud of you, is indeed one of the most rewarding feelings in the world. What to Say to Someone Who Is Depressed - Verywell Mind Well also discuss the power of words, the benefits of responding with gratitude, and how to show appreciation to others. Thanks! It's a pretty good deal. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. But, when you want to make your responses more effective and special, these are some good ways to do it. Embrace Pride There are positive reasons to listen when someone says they are proud of you. I dont care that I had to hear it from a video-taped personage. A Summer Like No Other - Bushfires, Fear, Famly, Hope and Change, Preparing To Say Goodbye Even As I Hug Hello, When I Realised That Being A Parent To An Adult Is Different To Being A Parent Of A Child, Setting Limits Sets Limits On Children Learning to Discipline Themselves, Learning to Take The Back Seat As A Parent, As My Child Moves To Adulthood, Am I Treasuring The Moments? Refresher workshop for P.E.T. . Thank you. For many of us, hearing this phrase is like a warm hug. But you'd like some clarity on what he really means when he says that. 1. PJ. 11 Signs He's Proud To Be With You - Bolde Dear! I am so lucky to have you in my life and your . Sept. 29, 2020, 8:12 PM PDT / Updated Sept. 30, 2020, 5:34 AM PDT. The effect of this praise might be opposite to the aim of the parent. If youve finally graduated or youre the first one who got an A + in your entire family, your parents express how proud and happy you make them. Had I ever thought about the meaning behind these words? You know that I'm bound to see you. 13. Because this was someone elses idea. Were brothers, dont you forget that! 48 Ways to Say 'I'm So Proud of You & What You've Done' Someone else's pride in you does not usually translate to pride in yourself. Setting goals you can achieve, also called "realist goals," reduces the chance of frustration or doubting yourself or your abilities. With teens and adults, saying "I'm proud of you" is a bit different. I agree with you: its sad that he did what my parents should have done. "We will always remember. but with my Mothers words of wisdom always echoing. When I tell my kids Im proud they are surprised and pleased. It felt great, and as he falls into both of the categories above, was fully appreciated. Take the compliment, give her a big hug and a kiss and tell her "I'm proud of myself as well" and "Thank you". Overall, seeing your parents, family and loved ones are proud of you, is a great compliment. Do you really think this had a lot of positive impact on many children? In the South, people are proud of you if they know you. I am trying very, very hard not to implode. Imagine this: Four-year-old John shows his Mum a painting he's just done. How Do I Tell Him I Like Him The Best Method (Proven), What Does It Mean When She Calls You Daddy, Im so glad that youre proud of me. Its also important to remember the power of positive reinforcement and the benefits of responding with gratitude. Posted articles do not constitute advice or recommendations. Larissa Dann, a veteran trainer of Parent Effectiveness Training in Australia, suggests that we stop saying "I am proud of you," and start saying, "I am proud for you." 1 It is a subtle shift from the accomplishment being about the parent to the accomplishment being about the child. Don't remind them how far they've come. It will show your appreciation for their words, it will help to strengthen your relationship, and it will create a positive and constructive environment. Graduation Wishes for Son - Congratulations Messages Quotes After the game I took her back to her car, gave her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. If you want to reply saying you're proud of the person saying he's proud of you, the only correct answer out of those four is "I'm proud of you too".
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